"I choo-choo-CHOOSE you" 💌
IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY - and do you know what’s so much better than real couples? Fictional couples. 😍😍And if you have no idea what I’m talking about or don’t know what a ship is… a) you need to spend more time on the internet, real life is overrated, and b) it’s Charles Boyle; that is all.
Every fandom has it’s ships, and there are a million kinds. If you do not have an unhealthy obsession with an imaginary couple I really wonder how you got this deep on the internet.
The Polar Opposite GFs
Yes, this is only for girlfriends. The cheery girlfriend and the punk, the halloween and valentines day, the pink strawberry dress with the black. This ship dynamic has grown intensely over the past few years, with wlw couples being more prominent not only in film and tv but in children’s cartoons!!
Adventure Time Distant Lands - Obsidian
Look at that very real, very unapologetic kiss that baby me (and adult me) absolutely cried over. Polar opposite GFs include:
Marceline and Princess Bubblegum ~ Adventure Time (above)
Maeve and Aimee ~ Sex Education
Candace Flynn and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz ~ Phineas and Ferb
Shego and Kim Possible ~ Kim Possible
Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio ~ Deadpool/X-Men Franchise
Gogo and Honey Lemon ~ Big Hero 6 The Series
Rue and Jules ~ Euphoria
Rapunzel and Cassandra ~ Tangled the Series
Jade West and Cat Valentine ~ Victorious
Amity and Luz ~ The Owl House
The Classic “Will They, Won’t They”
Every sitcom has a will they won’t they relationship. Some are… questionable, and some put far too much weight into the relationship, realising they don’t have a tv show without this tension, then making us live in a constant cycle of together, breaking up, together, breaking up, until we just, we just don’t care anymore. But the best sitcom relationships are worth suffering through.
Some of my favourite ships include:
Niles and Daphne - Frasier
Fran Fine and Maxwell Sheffield ~ The Nanny
Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta ~ Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Amy and Jonah ~ Superstore
Cory and Topanga ~ Boy Meets World
Dana Scully and Fox Mulder ~ The X Files (not a sitcom but I can’t not)
Suzy and Henry Mallet ~ Spirited
The Long-Lasting Relationship
With all of the heartache of most tv romances, sometimes you need a steady, healthy, romance between two characters. Not exactly common in the crazy world of television but if anyone dares to break up Homer and Marge I will not survive emotionally.
Marge and Homer - The Simpsons (above)
Kitty and Red - That 70’s Show
Spinnerella and Netossa - She Ra and the Princess of Power
Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn - Adventure Time
Captain Raymond Holt and Kevin Cozner - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Johnny and Moira - Schitt’s Creek
The Heart-Breaking
Some ships are just destined to sink, but that doesn’t make them any less thrilling. Whether they are star crossed lovers or a simple right place wrong time, we are left only to hope that there is more than one love out there in the world.
My best examples are:
Sadie and Lars from Steven Universe (above), as Sadie found love in a new and frankly fantastic partner, we will are alway left wondering what could have been.
Phoebe and Cole from Charmed, as Cole draws Phoebe in the demon world she needs to leave him in order to save herself. Suffering the loss of love with her family, she finds a new happy ending, that she may never have found with out this heartbreak first.
Rose Tyler and the Doctor from Doctor Who, even though Rose got her TenTwo in the end, The Doctor was still left burning up a sun to say goodbye.
Elizabeth and Calvin from Lessons in Chemistry had our best autistic duo. The two ends of the spectrum falling in love. What is more romantic? While the love and loss gave Brie Larson the life she never thought she would have, I still want to yell at the writers to just let them be happy.
Maeve and Otis from Sex Education was never a ship of mine but I do want to give credit where credit is due. How many characters end up with their high school sweethearts? I love that the way of storytelling has moved from good relationships lasting forever to good relationships having meaningful impact. And (unfortunately) the same can be said for Riverdale, as Betty, Veronica, Archie and Jughead had their “quad” confirmed in the final episode. Despite Archie and Jughead being to only one out of canon.